food lists

Foods I’ve Made Myself Like Out of Sheer Force of Will

1. Coffee
My college roommates really liked coffee, and I really wanted to like it too. The first time I ordered a drink a Starbucks I ordered a vanilla latte with half the amount of espresso and twice the vanilla. It was not good. I powered through, bound and determined to like coffee. Thanks, inadvertent peer pressure!

2. Sushi (specifically nori)
The first time I ever ate sushi I was well into my twenties, and immediately spit it out. The taste of nori was too overwhelming for me, and it wasn’t until one of my friends told me I could ask for the roll wrapped in rice or soy paper that my love for sushi exploded. I’ve come to appreciate nori, and while I still don’t go out of my way to eat it, it no longer ruins sushi.

3. Wine
Alcohol tends to make my heartburn flare up I tend to avoid it, but the pull of girls’ nights in pj pants with some vino was too strong to resist. I decided to find a wine that I liked. I started with really sweet white wines, and eventually ventured into red territory. Now all wine is good wine, though the drier types tend to upset my stomach.

4. Coconut
I thank our first round of Whole30 for that one. I originally had a texture issue with coconut, but that hangup has gone by the wayside.

Foods I’ve Discovered That I Like Now That I’m An Adult

1. Cauliflower
You can roast it and mash it and grill it and eat it raw and rice it and it’s just the greatest.

2. Carrots
Even though they remind me of fingers, I still really like them. They’re best roasted in avocado oil and sprinkled with salt.

3. Fish
The only fish we ever ate growing up was orange roughy or catfish, so I wasn’t quite as adept at eating creatures of the sea as one would expect a Floridian to be. I am now.

Foods I Will Never Get My Husband To Like Even Though I’ve Tried One Thousand Ways To Trick Him Into Eating It
1. Ketchup
2. Cheese
3. Macaroni salad
4. Onions

Foods I Have Gotten My Husband To Like Because Nagging Totally Works
1. Ranch dressing
2. Spicy mayo
3. Cauliflower
4. Beets
5. Crab
6. Ground beef in things that aren’t strictly hamburgers (like spaghetti sauce)

Foods I Don’t Like But If I Did My Life Would Be Easier
1. Sausage
I’ve tried a lot of varieties at many different spice levels and absolutely none of them taste good to me, which means my traditional breakfast meat game is just bacon. Which is fine. I like bacon. But sometimes I’m browsing recipes and find a delicious-sounding one that has sausage in it, and I think “Man. My life would be easier if I just liked sausage.”

2. Olives
All I taste is briny saltiness when I eat them. I like that they’re a good source of fat and I like that they’re portable and I like that they don’t spoil easily and aren’t nuts. I just don’t like the actual … fruit? Is an olive a fruit? It’s not a vegetable. (Google has confirmed that an olive is indeed a fruit.)

3. Fermented food
The digestive benefits of fermented foods are enormous, and I will admit to not being quite as adventurous here as I could be. I have tried kimchi (too spicy) and kombucha is alright, but I would love to love it. I’m not sure it would necessarily make my life easier if I liked fermented foods, but it would make my stomach happier.

4. Pineapple
Even picking it out of fruit salad isn’t sufficient, because the salad will have been contaminated by the essence of the pineapple.

5. Beer
It’s cheaper than wine and there are way more varieties, but nearly every one I’ve tried has made me gag.

6. Dried fruit
That shit is ubiquitous and I hate it all.